Me & my site mates Keisha & Christina

Here are some pictures from the Peace Corps 50^th Anniversary celebration last Friday at the U.S. Ambassador’s House in Guatemala City.  It was a beautiful day with a nice ceremony and not enough food to feed everyone present.

The last few weeks I’ve been frustrated and that has transformed into decreased motivation.  After starting off the school year with a packed schedule and energy to work came a turning point.  A few weeks ago we had a curriculum implementation workshop which was to define for us as second-generation YD volunteers and the directors from our schools what our role is.  In other words, I’m not supposed to be in charge of teaching all these lessons, but helping the schools make the transition into teaching them, and using my time to do more teacher trainings, out of school projects with students, as well as other needed projects within the schools. Well, not one of my directors attended. The two days were an utter waste of my time, whereas had even one director made an appearance, I really believe it could have been a fantastic opportunity.  So many of the things that were said and taught were repetitive for me, but I wished very much that my schools could hear the information.

On Monday I visited school for the first day of exams.  I sat in to supervise an exam – an art exam.  I did not even hear the instructions, as I entered to keep on eye on everything after the teacher had handed out the tests, but it was clear from the paints, the drawing of a circle and dividing it up into pie segments that the students were supposed to be painting a color wheel.  In other words, the primary colors red, blue, and yellow, and the colors that they create between them.  After over an hour and half (don’t ask why it took that long) the students turned their completed work into me. NOT ONE student did it correctly.  There were grays, browns, tans, pinks.  Two girls came very close, but included white and did not put the colors in the correct order.  When the teacher came back I asked him, just to be sure, what the assignment was.  Yes, well no one got it right. I could go on about other issues in the schools – like my problem with their budget – spending money on brand new band uniforms, week-long Feria and Anniversary celebrations when some students don’t even have working desks to sit in during class – but I’ll refrain.  I came here with a very open mind, not really judging things to be right and wrong, but just waiting to have my eyes opened.  Well, I have formed some very strong opinions in the last 11 months, but the most overwhelming, recent shock is just how overwhelming the problems are.  It goes beyond the education system into all aspects of life, but let’s narrow the problem to education – that is my job, that is why I’m here – and it’s beyond my capacity to do anything.  I was told to work with the people who want to work with me, and now I’m figuring out that that does not include my primary project (basically none of my schools have shown a strong commitment to working with me).  The people who want to work with me are from the community where I teach English (they’re the only school who bothers to call when class is cancelled, the teachers are flexible and involved), the same community with the girls group from the NGO Population Council (the girls are young, so they need a little encouragement, but that’s why I’m here).  I’ve sort of put those things behind everything else since they were secondary projects, but really I should be putting more of my energy there.

I’ve not given up, but I’m exhausted. Little successes give me energy – when I see the students actually learn something and get excited, when teachers communicate with me and we work as a team (far and few between) – and other little things exhaust me – having to yell to be heard, riding in crowded buses pressed against people in dirty clothes who push me as though I’m taking up their personal space, but as though they’re not taking up mine.  Really, crowds excepted, people are indeed kind here, but I’m not impressed with the ability to organize, execute plans, use time wisely, and analyze. I feel more the outsider than ever since I feel like the only one who finds things so preposterous. One more annoyance – I’ve had someone from the Ministry of Ed doing a little sneak attack showing up randomly at my schools to make sure I’m doing my job.  Once a few weeks ago a person I’d never met before showed up at school, pulled me out of class in the middle of a lesson to ask me about what schools I’m working in and what projects I’ve got going on.  Not only could there have been a more opportune time, but if it’s his responsibility to know those things he should already know, as my plans had been submitted to the proper authorities previously in the month.  On Monday my school told me that the same person showed up last Thursday to check in; the director informed him that I wasn’t there because I’m never there on Thursdays. Only Monday’s. Really, what a waste of time and why aren’t these surprise check-ups happening to actual full-time teachers and directors, whose unaccounted absences are too numerous to recall. This unknown person’s appearance was so bizarre to me at first, in fact, that after his first visit I checked with someone from the Ministry of Ed that he really worked there, to be sure he was not some random stalker. My APCD is coming all the way from Santa Lucia tomorrow to meet personally with me, my local counterpart/boss, and my directors to go over the information that was given at the training a few weeks ago that the directors failed to attend. I have a lot of hope hinged on this meeting and setting things straight, but really I shouldn’t hope too much.

Thankfully I have good friends...